Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween! Now KNEEL...for points.

Lets see y'all get on yer knees and wave yer hand liken you was a Baptist or somethin'. A good maneuver. The knee slide looks good on a Bacon or even a Ponch. Let the world know that your hand's got soul while your body is humbled by the power of your own damn voice! This demon's got a ton of kin too!

Friday, October 30, 2009

An Upstate New York Classic Scary-Oke Challenge

Okay, this is a challenge for the song "Working Man" by Rush. There will be individual cards for songs as they strike me.

Yer A REAL Dolphin Now! Scary-Oke Shirtless Maneuver Card

This is the art for the card that asks... no the card that begs you to remove your shirt while singin'. When clothes come off, you know the singer is really passionate about the material. Like D'Angelo or R. Kelly or Ray Stevens. Naked means pure and raw so let's challenge our friends to show some skin!
You'll thank us later.
The Maneuver Card is coming together nicely.

Don't Stop Bereaving... Scary-Oke Consonant Swap Maneuver Card

You see how a simple consonant swap can change the whole flavor of a tune. Now we've finally injected new life into that band Journey's tired Karaoke Classic. We can all get excited when this old horse starts the field ta plowin' again! This swinging chap is based on a guy who used to come into the gas station I worked nights at. He would play instant tickets for hours upon hours. His occupation: gravedigger. He would smile in a creepy way whenever he won. He looked like he was on opium. I think I captured him.

Scary-oke Challenge: Can't Fuck Up a Steinman

You know what's great about Jim Steinman's music? You cannot fuck it up! You could be a shrieking chimpanzee in an animal testing facility with wires coming out of your exposed brain and your eyes sewn shut and you could still rip out "Total Eclipse of the Heart" like a space dolphin who craps laser beams! You want to make the bar a better place? Challenge a pal to your favorite Steinman classic.
You can't fuck up a Steinman.

Now with inks... you still can't fuck up a Steinman!

The Billy Fury Challenge

This is the rough for the art for one of the most popular challenges in the game: The Billy Fury Challenge. Do you know who Billy Fury is? Probably not. You probably don't know any of his songs that are all over most karaoke books. Unless you're from the UK. I guess that's where karaoke tracks come from. Maybe they bundle Billy Fury songs in with the newer and more popular tracks. I don't know but the challenge doesn't have to be Billy Fury. I just like the sound of it.

So... slap a Billy Fury Challenge on yer friend and watch 'em try to muddle their way through some song they've never heard. I recommend Billy Fury songs for this and whatever you do don't use a rap song for this. It embarrasses everyone involved...yourself included.
And here he is with inks. Pretty soon we'll see an actual card prototype! You sweating? You will be. You will be.

Rules Rules Rules

Here they are kids, play tested and ready fer boozin'! Keep in mind that eventually there will be cards representing my favorite maneuvers and challenges available as a free pdf download. Due to my belief in remaining transparent you will get to see the drawings of each of the cards as they are conceptualized and in just a few months you will be able to challenge your friend to, for example, "Turn Back Time" with a maneuver for replacing you with Bob for three big points using a premade card...perfect for a noisy bar!

Making sense? No?


“Making Extroverts Go Too Far”
By Jared Gniewek
Get the most points by making the biggest ass of yourself while singin’.

1. A set number of rounds is agreed upon. Usually two or three depending on the size of the party.

2. Everybody sings. If you don't sing, I kill you myself.
Selecting your own song = 0 points.
Allowing a challenger to select your song = 2 points
A song which the challenger believes you have never heard = 3 points (this is commonly known as The Billy Fury Challenge).

3. You may rack up more points by using maneuvers. These are each worth 1 bonus point.
For a self selected song you may use up to three.
A challenger may amend their song choice for you with one of these as well. You may not adjust a challenged song with maneuvers unless it is part of the challenge (you may execute them but receive no bonus points).

Maneuvers include:
* Exchanging a common word in the lyrics with an amusing alternate. (examples include replacing “you” with “Bob” or “Rain” with “Nuts”)
* Dancing like an asshole. (this includes but is certainly not limited to “air guitaring” and stripping)
* Pretending to be the performer whose song you are singing.
*Perform a duet with yourself and using appropriately hilarious voices for each of the parts.
* Staying seated on a barstool while singing no matter what your friends do to try to get you to stand horseplay!
*Getting on the bar like it's that coyote movie place and belting out a real scorcher.
*Scream the number like you was a death metal singer. Yer a REAL dolphin now, so remember ta' use that blowhole!
* Go ahead and replace all instances of a consonant with another. I like replacing "t"s with "w"s but it's really up to you.

4. All points are subject to approval by the group or a neutral party. If the player adheres to the maneuvers and challenges before them with gusto that is usually sufficient for points. Don't be too much of a stickler... remember that it’s all in fun!

Note: These are a work in progress (as is everything on this site) and will be changing.

Further Note: If you send me your playtest diaries I'll probably post 'em. If you send me your hilarious pictures and videos of your buddies performing crazy challenges and maneuvers and I'll most likely post those too.

Oh...and if you hurt yourself or get kicked out of a bar because of this game you have only yourself to blame. Don't go playing coyote movie place up on the tables and shit if you don't know (and tip) your bartender. Be an ass not an asshole!

Now go fuck some dragons...with songs!