Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Holidays!


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Scary-oke Maneuver: The Carry

Get the biggest and brawniest person at the bar to keep you off the ground all through your number. Touching the floor will not only cause you to lose your point but will also cause you to be eaten by pirahnas and burned by lava... as any child who plays the couch cushion game can attest to. Dangerous!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Scary-Oke Challenge: Sing a Country Song

Yeah, lets kick our spurs and howl out a big "heeeyaaa" as we challenge our friends to sing our favorite country smashes. If you want to make 'em groan choose some lame-o corporate new country stuff that none of your friends like even ironically. Make 'em sing the types of songs that belong in the real America, you know, Waffle Houses, Walmart parking lots... and Neo Nazi Rallies! The more patriotic the better... Toby Keith anyone? Fire it up, know what ta do!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Scary-oke Maneuver: "Gettin' Dirty"

Git out your raincoats now because we're gon' git dirtay!
The conceit here is that you pepper the challenged song with "f-bombs" and any other "cuss-words" you can think of. It's best when thrown in while staying "on time" with the number so it seems as though it was always there to begin with. Try to use songs that aren't already filthy or use radio versions of songs and make them filthier than the original was. You all know me and you all know there aren't too many things that Jared Michael Gniewek loves more than swearin' on you can trust me when I tell you that people LOVE IT!

The most popular example of this type of maneuver would be The Dan Band's version of Jim Steinman's "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
( can't fuck up a Steinman). Notice how he exhales the fuck words percussively and right in the pockets between the lyrics. It's not just Hollywood magic, kids, you can get those same results! Use a different song though, these guys kinda' got that number locked down for awhile.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Scary-Oke Robot Singing Maneuver

This maneuver consists of performing the challenged song in the voice of an automaton. Keep inflection to a minimum and just go deadpan and clipped with your expressions. Feel free to use robot dance movies during your long breaks. This maneuver works wonders with songs where vocoder (or any effect where in a mechanical voice is emulated...overt autotune for example) is used.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The School Chorus Maneuver

Art by Ann Zakaluk

This is a special treat. The maneuver here
is to overly accentuate each line of the song (each syllable really), make lame interpretive dance moves, and generally act a little nervous and though you were back in your elementary school chorus days. Don't worry about weird shoulder rubs, though, you're safe at the bar!

General Challenges

This beautiful creature will be representative of any challenges for which there is no card. This will be most of them as the best challenges are aimed specifically at the singing deficiencies of your friends. You'll probably be seeing a lot of this guy so get used ta him.