Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rock that stand, kiddo!

You know what I love? Folks who know how to work a microphone stand. I like when they knock it over and then kick it back up at themselves like a rake in a Looney Tunes short. I like when they lean real low with it like they was a crooner. I like when they dance back and forth with it covered in flags. I like when it is lifted and air-guitared with. If the bar yer singin' at has a mike stand then drop this KILLER scary-oke maneuver in your enemy's lap. Watch em' rock the rod!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Holy Crap! It's Abba Day!

" Jared, do an Abba post!"

"Jared, how come no Abba?"

"Jared, why do you hate Abba?"

"Hey can you draw me an Abba challenge card? You know... it's for my kid."

For once and for all... Shut Up.

This is a challenge to perform an Abba song at Karaoke. Personal favorite: "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" for the simple fact that I love oddball punctuation in long song titles. With all those exclamation points it leads one to wonder if Stan Lee or Al Feldstein wrote the title for them. "Take a Chance on Me" is a fun zippy number that anyone can sound good performing while heavily inebriated. Almost like a Steinman... without the wave crashing emotional intensity of course.

Heres an excellent example of how to perform Abba...enjoy! Embedding don't work on this but the link leads to

And here's... I can't... I don't know what to say about this. I've fallen into the dreaded irony feedback loop. Maybe it's awesome? I mean it could be right? Right?

Good? Bad? It's all Abba so it kind of floats above petty human judgements in silvery bathrobes of celestial light shining rays of Swedish Harmony from beautiful hive minds.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

You don't need a partner.

This is a challenge for any duet. As Scary-oke is not a team sport this can be particularly tough as all the parts will fall to but one singer. A fun way to address this would be to present separate maneuvers for each of the "singers". Just a thought. Enjoy!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Challenge: Dan Hill... "Sometimes When We Touch"

A karaoke classic. Dan hill's "Sometimes When we Touch" has turned friends into lovers for decades. Now you can force your friend to serenade whoever with this awesome challenge card. Remember to modify this challenge with a cool maneuver. The Shatner maneuver is a good choice...but then Destroyer of Worlds was kinda' made for this smooth slice of AM Gold. In any case this 1977 #1 (in Canada) hit by Dan Hill (with an assist from the legendary Barry Mann) deserves no less than your drunk friends best effort. Make it happen!

Here's a perfect interpretation...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Microphone's are fer PUSSIES!

You've been workin' so hard perfectin' that rock n' roll snarl. You've been starin' in the mirror and screamin' in the showers. One thing you do NOT need is some mic-ro-phone gettin' in yer way and muckin' up yer carefully crafted persona. Sing this song sans SM58 and get that sweet bonus point. And if they can't hear ya' fuck 'em cuz they ain't really listenin'!